Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A New Normal

First, Thanks Sheeshers , and anyone else who did so, for helping Central America out.

Second, A new normal.

These two poems I wrote on May 16, 2004.

A new normal
begins for someone
For many
A different world
that becomes the new normal
the new ok
the new life
the old life
is missed.

The world
to normal
It's a different normal
It's not
the world
we had before
It's a new normal
Where Stephan
is gone
and his killer
awaits death.

A bit of background. In April of 2004, a truly wonderful Police Officer (and guy) was shot and killed by a gang-banger who had been fairly recently released from prison. I knew Stephan and had met his beautiful children. Stephan had been the first officer killed in the history of the police department here. It devastated the community. And it took us 2-3 weeks to find the guy who did it. It was a state wide manhunt with officers from every county coming here to help us search. The killer is scheduled for trial in 2006, and it's been filed as a death penalty case.

I was struck, in May, of how life just kept on going. How most of the world had no clue about our town and it's grief. I was also struck by my life continuing, while it seemed that Michelle's (Stephan's wife) world stopped. A new normal appeared. It happens everytime someone dies, someone is a victim of a violent crime, someone is born. The old normal is remembered, like looking at an old photograph.

I bring this up because I am reading Enjoy the silence: a thirty day experiment in listening to God. On Monday night, I read day 13 (Psalms 46:1-11) This is a quote from the book: "What does 'normal' look like in a world filled with such violence pain and human tragedy?" And a paraphrase, Our 'old normal' is defind by unreality--that we can make ourselves secure in a world full of violence and uncertainty, including nature.

And this is what I wrote in response: My questions! My thoughts, 'a new normal', different but accepted after awhile, but there is no "normal" here on earth, only in Heaven, only in God's Peace. The reality of "normal" in this world is pain, loss, destruction, and violence because we are a world without God. (not all of us of course)

The book then asked that you meditate on the verse "Be still and know that I am God." I am not very good at meditating. Sitting still and just thinking isn't a strong suit of mine. And thinking of only one thing at a time is even harder. But... I put for "Be still", a clear meadow with no breeze and a mountain in the background. For "know" the meadow is filled with the presence of God, for "that I am God" the love and peace of God is there, and can be in my heart.

The whole session hit me in a big way, reminding me of all I felt a year and a half ago, and the realization that the "normal" idea is different than I originally thought of it. God, heaven, the garden of eden, His peace, that is the true normal, and everything here isn't. We can accept it, and go on living. But I know, that this world is a faded photograph and I can't wait to see the real thing. (and yes, I am aware that this could be seen as a refence to the book The Last Battle #7 in the Narnia series where it is discussed that this world is a copy of the real one, God's Heaven. I always liked that analogy)

I hope this came out clear and not like a long ramble.

God bless


Blogger Will said...

Clear and Thoughtful. Very nice.

9:09 AM  

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