Tuesday, September 06, 2005

a full holiday weekend

Saturday, I didn't do much. I went to church, and decided that next Saturday, I would get baptized. I was baptized as a baby, but never as an adult. It's an immersion baptizism. I had been contemplating it all summer and next weekend is probably the last time it will be offered before it gets too cool out there to be dunked! It's a sign of my choice to follow Jesus. When you do it as a baby, it doesn't have much meaning (from the baby) it's all done for you. As an adult you are taking the step to confirm the choice your parents made for you. It's all a bit deeper than that but I can't really find the words. I also got word that I am going to be a co-leader for life hurts God heals. It starts next thursday and I am very excited about it.

On Sunday, I went to Capitola--a beach about 2 hrs away. I love beach days, looking at the mountains, the ocean, the flowers growing on the side of the road, all pull me closer to God. I see him so vividly in nature, the way the sun hits the mountains, the way the water hits the rocks. I listen to my favorite christian music there and back and really enjoy the day. This particular beach day wasn't as restoring as I hoped it would be. There is a lot going on in my mind.

Monday, I spent with some friends and saw the Constant Gardner and had dinner. The movie was very good, but depressing. The fact is, it's probably a true story, or pretty close to one and it's horrible. In the middle, I looked up and asked God if he saw what his children did to each other, and how could he stand it? (remember, I am still raving about New Orleans, where they are raping 7 year olds and shooting at people trying to fix the levies!!) There is so much evil here. Anne Frank said in her diary that she still believed that people were really good at heart. I think that was wrong. People are evil at heart, selfish human beings caring only for their own needs, desires and wants. It's only thru our believe in God and acceptance of his gift--his son's sacrifice at the cross and acceptance of his forgiveness that we become good at heart, and it's still a battle after that. Satan tries to get us back, to steal the beauty from us, to deprive us of the joy and peace God gives. Good only comes from God.

So. Unless God tells me to move, I'll stay, and trust that He will work His will in my life and get me to where I need to be, not necessarily where I want to be.

(this was edited on 9/6/05, I decided that certain info re: work shouldn't be on here.)

God bless

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