Wednesday, April 12, 2006

More on the new dream

I was considering this the other day, really thinking about it. And several things hit me. When I talked to my mom on Sunday, she said that God was just telling her heart that Compassion and the kids was the way for me to go. My mom is very important to me, and her confirmation of this new direction for my life (well, God thru her) is very important to me. Also, several of my friends have also shared their valuable opinion with me and confirm God's plan for me.

Next, 2 months ago, money was an issue. I was trying to figure out how to rent/buy a house, save 10 to 20,000 to adopt a child, pay day care costs, and still pay my student loans. Honestly, I believed that adoption was God's plan, so he would have to give me a miracle to get there. I pretty much was waiting for the miracle. And stressing about the money and growing older etc. I got a miracle. Just different than I thought. I held a child full of love and a heart for Jesus and heard what God really wanted me to do. I was fighting so hard and so long for my dream, that I convinced myself that it was His plan. I was wrong. With that realization, I have plenty of money! I am no longer worried about putting as much into savings as I possibly can (to pay for the adoption) For the first time since 1987, when I signed the first student loan document, I can honestly say I am not worried about finances. That's a miracle too. I have always wanted to have extra money to take my Dad to Austria, to help my brother, and to help my friends. And now I can do that. And feeling great, to be free from the stress, to finally understand what God wants and that I was capable of doing it. Because as much as I wanted a child I couldn't see how I would get there. I wasn't capable. (and yes, I took this from part of an email I sent to a friend!)

God is just so awesome, I wanted to share!
God bless


Blogger Will said...

I'm glad you said at the end that you took it off the email. I was reading it thinking "Doh, she had to email me her blog entry to answer my question. Maybe if I read a little more regularly I wouldn't be such a doofus!"

Whew---that was close. ;-)

8:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home